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It’s been quite a while since I’ve worked in an office. When I did, hugging wasn’t very common. In fact, I would have felt very uncomfortable giving any of my employees a hug, unless they were leaving the company for a new position and I would really miss them. However, it seems that hugging is becoming more acceptable in the workplace. It seems pretty weird to me, being mature, but the huggers are out there planning their next move, so it’s best to be prepared.
Some concepts to keep in mind when he or she rushes to you with open arms:
- If it’s a customer that you haven’t seen in awhile rushing towards you and they already purchase products from you, go ahead and give them a big, short, hug. Don’t hug customers if they haven’t purchased anything from you, it may come across as bribery, especially if you give good hugs!
- It’s better not to hug people you supervise, which is probably why I never felt comfortable hugging my employees. If they are very upset about something such as a family tragedy, it’s OK to do the arm around the shoulder comforting thing.
- It’s OK to hug peers if you’ve known them for a long time and have a good relationship. Maybe not every day, that’s a bit over the top. Special occasions or celebrations would be the ideal time.
- Don’t hug from behind, that’s really scary. In fact, I was grabbed from behind once, and if you did that to me you’d likely hear a very loud scream (it worked the first time), striking terror into the hearts of anyone within earshot.
- I was about to give my “please accept me into your networking group” speech a year or so ago and was quite nervous (they meet at 7 a.m. so I hadn’t had time to build up my self confidence). The first person I met was a guy I had known for years and who had invited me to join the group. He asked how I was doing and I said, “I’m nervous, give me a hug.” Perfect solution. If someone asks for a hug, give them a good, solid, short hug.
- Keep hugs short; long hugs are for your family.
- In the movie Shall We Dance, Richard Gere (as John Clark) is practicing the waltz in the men’s washroom with Stanley Tucci (as Link). Another guy walks in. What thoughts must be running through his head? Link collapses and John says, “Call 911.” It’s best not to hug in the washroom unless you’re ready to perform CPR.
- Group hugs are fun and acceptable. No sexual overtones in this situation.
- Rule of thumb: if you aren’t sure whether or not to hug someone, definitely go for the “do not” side. * Be aware that not everyone is into hugging. As Tim Sackett reports, “Men feel much more comfortable hugging women than other men. Women will hug anything.”
Have a super day, and, hug a friend. Shake hands with your coworkers.
Mary Anthes is a business owner, speaker and a Distinguished Toastmaster. She can be reached at nmanthes@shaw.ca.
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